Italy Meets Germany...à la Roasted Pepper, Olive, and Chevre Bruschetta

This is the period of my writing where I’ll get all sweet and non-sardonic because my mom and dad came to visit and luckily I'm not 18 anymore and I feel things like enthusiasm when I get to see my family.

As sweet as someone like me gets, at least.

Just take a look at my mom...where do you think my excitement toward food comes from?

We rendezvoused in a tiny cabin in a tiny German town called Hayingen and hit the ground running.

We awoke—no, scratch that—I awoke bright and early this morning while everybody else leisurely nursed their jet lag (including John, who definitely didn’t have jet lag).

As the bums lay in bed, I went for a jog and came home to discover that the cabin’s shower was quite possibly a time machine and/or space ship. At the twist of a knob, the water could spray from the walls, from a mobile shower head, or straight down as though you were beneath a raincloud.

There was music. 

There were two sets of lights that changed colors. There was a mirror, a fan, a heater!

I wasn’t sure if I was in heaven, outer space, or just a cabin in Germany, but it was cool...maybe the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me. 

Maybe.

Is that a jar of peanut butter on the table? Could it be that peanut butter was consumed with Plum Crumble?
That's plum crazy! I can't stop saying plum puns.

Deciding afterwards that it was time for everybody to wake up, I emerged from the bathroom/time-machine with loud exclamations on how great my shower experience was.

They all awoke burning with jealousy.

Jealousy notwithstanding, we started our first morning off right with Pflaumenkuchen, aka German Plum Crumble (and yes, it was plum crumbly).

Since there was fruit in it, I’m preeeetty sure it counts as a breakfast item. And don’t’ talk back to me.

Over at Sunday Hotpants I found what seems like a very authentic plum crumble recipe, so proceed with caution, because it's good.

Really good.

Looks like breakfast to me

Despite a belly that was plum full (sorry), lunch couldn’t come too soon as I was eager to try out my mom’s recipe for anchovy, olive, and goat cheese spread. 

Moreover, I was eager to try it with some leftover schweinshaxe (roasted pork knuckle, that is) which they'd deplorably begun eating before meeting up with John and me.

That spread may strike you as sounding vaguely Italian, and why are we making Italian food if we're in Germany?

But my dad is half Italian and half German, so obviously we can do anything we want while we're here.

We're Kaisers. Don't you know that Kaiser means Emperor? Jeez.

dibs?

So we roasted some peppers, cut up leftover pork, laid on the spread, and went to sandwich town.

I’m going to pass on my mom’s recipe, because once you nail it down, you can use it on anything you like: a sandwich, pasta, bruschetta, your pillow, whatever.

It’s good. And it’s extremely easy.

You've been spreaded. Consider it a privilege. 

Roasted Pepper, Olive, Anchovy, and Goast Cheese Bruschetta

If you're looking for something more akin to bonafide tapenade, use this recipe.

Ingredients

1 1/2 cup pitted kalamata olives

2 medium garlic cloves

2 anchovy fillets (don't you dare go skippin' these guys)

1/2 cup toasted walnuts, pine nuts, or hazelnuts

1/2 cup EVOO

1/2 tsp black pepper

8 oz. fresh goat cheese

2-3 red bell peppers, roasted, peeled and cut in strips (or a jar of roasted peppers)

Crostini, rubbed with cut side of a garlic clove

Directions

Set oven to broil

Combine olives, anchovies, and garlic in food processor and pulse briefly until coarsely chopped, add, nuts, pepper, and oil and pulse until your desired consistency is reached.

Rub oil on that pepper, cut it in half and de-seed it, and throw it under the broiler, skin side up. Keep an eye on that little guy. Let the skin get charred and crinkly, it should take about 30-40 minutes.

Remove and put in a covered bowl. Let sit for 10 minutes and then peel the skin right off. It's like magic. Slice into crostini-sized strips

Spread thin layer of goat cheese on the crostini and top with olive spread, then garnish with red pepper strips. Or, crumble the cheese, dice the pepper, and mix them in to the whole shebang—folow your heart.

 This is what you have to do when you don't
have a food processor...YOU HAVE TO
MIX BY HAND! NOOOO!

Mom accidentally got sardines instead of anchovies,
but hey, we'll take what we can get.

Soooo...that's it. 

Really. 

If you want it to be more difficult, you can chop everything by hand. Or you can try it with your hands tied behind your back. But that would be extremely difficult, if not impossible.

Otherwise, just chow.

Finally we meet, mother's recipe

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Happy trails!