Authentic Swiss Fondue on the Shores of Lake Neuchâtel

So listen, I know that Switzerland is rumored to be on top of its game: it’s financially stable, it’s international, it grows its own food, etc...But the real reason we know that it knows what it’s doing is that it has meals completely centered around cheese. And melting it. And eating it. Constantly.

It's ok to feel overwhelmed

I thought that leaving France would provide me with an opportunity to lose the weight that, ahem, I may or may not have gained while eating cheese on a daily basis for the past three months.

Not so, according to Martine Bijon. We've visited a Gruyere factory, for goodness' sake, could I have really thought that there would be no more excessive cheesery in my future?

And so I introduce the Swiss fondue: A blend of melted cheese and white wine.

Need I say more?

Starting to go crazy from too much cheese intake

Authentic Swiss Fondue(adapted from TylerFlorence & La Maison du Gruyere)
Non-Food Necessities
Ceramic pot, skewers (forks work in a pinch), and something to keep the fondue warm
Ingredients
1 pound imported Swiss cheese (blend of Gruyere, Appenzeller, and/or Emmental ideal) *or* America’s own Pleasant Ridge Reserve, grated. Throw in goat or blue cheese if you're feeling crazy
2 tbs cornstarch
1 garlic clove, minced
1 cup dry white wine
1 tbs fresh lemon juice
1 tbs cherry brandy, such as kirsch (optional)
Pinch nutmeg
Cubed crusty artisan bread

Directions
Mix the cheese with the cornstarch, set aside.

Over medium heat, simmer wine, lemon juice, and garlic (traditionally one would only rub the fondue pot with a cut garlic clove, but I prefer a stronger garlic flavor).

Once mixture is simmering (not boiling!), begin adding the cheese a handful at a time, stirring frequently to prevent burning. Don’t rush the process—slow and steady makes for a smooth fondue.

Add pepper and nutmeg to taste, and brandy if using.

Just let the magic happen

Once that beautiful mass of cheese is fully melted, serve immediately aside your chunked bread, ideally keeping the pot over a small flame to maintain heat and help develop the crusty bit on the bottom of the pan. I like to serve with some sort of cured meat, although "traditionally," that's not how it's done.

This, boys and girls, if what we're working toward. The crusty, thickened scrapings at the bottom that are udderly full of flavor

You are going to ruin me, you little swirly things, you

Now look, I would stop telling you about this meal if I could, but I can’t, because we just kept eating.

After our fondue overload, the amazing Bijons, intent on giving us an authentic Swiss experience, triumphantly pulled out meringues and Gruyere double cream made from the milk of Swiss cows. Now, a meringue on its own is an unforgettable experience. After an initial crunchy burst, the sweet (made solely of egg whites and sugar) explodes into tiny fragments that apparently turn into clouds and float away as you chew them. Add Gruyere double cream, which is about 50% butterfat, and you have a dessert to be reckoned with. This isn’t what you would consider to be cream—it’s more like a lovechild between cream, gelato, and marshmallows. Spread a little (or a lot…) onto your meringue, take a bite, and as the meringue dissipates, the cream lingers—rich, velvety, and somehow delicate all at once. Interested in a recipe? Click here (you’ll have to translate the page from French).

Yeah, so maybe I had some espresso ice cream along with my double cream. I do what I want.

Oh, Switzerland, you do treat me right.


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